I hope this email finds everyone in good spirits 😀
Life has been pretty chill the past week.
My companion and I continue to be extremely good looking.
I should only have 11 days left in the United States (MTF)
星期一: Was actually kinda a bummer. My companion and I had a 40 minute skype appointment with some guy who lives in Taiwan. He was laughing whenever we said anything in Chinese, so then my companion would laugh, so I would laugh. Didn’t really feel the spirit at all, but he seemed like a nice guy. Also, he took a picture of the chat and ended up running into Elder Cook (my Air Force homie from the MTC who is now down range) and he ended up showing Elder Cook the picture of us, so that was pretty dope.)
One of my thuggs left super early Tuesday morning so I wrote her the classiest of letters on parchment with my super legit fountain pen. I don’t rightly know how the letter was received, but I imagine it was appreciated, because the penmanship was on point.
星期二: Made me laugh. A good friend of mine in another zone was dummy corded to his companion because his leadership felt that would help him learn to stay with his companion… I thought it was stupid, like really stupid, so I walked into his classroom, pulled out the good book, quoted Ezra 9:9, and said, "Elder Perkins, God hath not forsaken us in our bondage." I then quoted some modern day scripture and told him, "The Lord God will not suffer one man to be bond to another. As a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ I free you from your captivity." I then pulled out a knife and went to cut the flaxen cord which imprisoned my homie. But then everybody in the room got all indignant and stuff. It was good fun. I guess the knife scared them… nerds. But when they went to tell on me for having a knife the leadership said that having a knife isn’t against the rules, and then they asked who thought it was a smart idea to tie two people together… (mwhahaha that’s what happens when you are a NARC)
星期三: For the past three weeks my companion and I have had our own room. Wednesday we ended up getting three new roommates. In preparation for the new roommates I got everyone in the zone to convince them that I was the most terrible human being they ever met. (I even got the teacher they had to say he heard stories about me)
Anyway, Wednesday night was hilarious. After all the hype my companion walks up and tells em to just be patient with me because I’m most likely getting kicked out. I start banging on the door, yelling, using some bible approved curse words, just making a scene. I got into a few arguments right in front of them, I got "counseled" by the zone leaders, I yelled at people to leave the room… It was a good time.
But the ZL’s felt that if I didn’t tell the truth they would have a legitimate struggle, so I stopped the charade and just bro’ed out with them for a bit. They are pretty awesome dudes.
星期四: Straight Absurd. We got our travel plans (Which was dope!)
But like ten minutes later this guy from higher says we are leacing a week later due to Visa issues. Then some guys go to the travel office to ask what was wrong. The travel office said nothing was wrong. Then it became a huge game of he said she said and no real answer was given as to whether or not we are leaving on the 5th. But either way, I’m leaving Provo on the 5th.
星期五: Nothing really happened. We were teaching one of our investigators about Church and stuff and my companion started hitting on her, and asked her on a date in two years. It’s cool though because she was actually our teacher… She said now, he’s convinced she’s just playing hard to get.
星期六:I was pretty stupid. I know, you could never see me doing anything foolish. The food here isn’t the greatest. So to kill the monotony we get creative with the food. Saturday night last week was the Chimmie Challenge, where people tried to eat a bunch of nasty chimichangas. They didn’t do Chimmie night, instead they had a bunch of jello. So, I did the jello challenge. I ended up killing 10 full cups of this nasty blue jello. But I have the high score of 9.5 cups before my body rejected the poor quality food. But after that i went back and finished the half cup that robbed me of a perfect night. RLTW. Airborne. Hooah…?
星期天: Just another Sunday. Like a million hours of church and study. The Sunday Night Devotional had the head of the MTCs cracking jokes, but it was a great message on repentance and redemption through Jesus Christ.
It’s been raining the past few days, which is great. Helps me remember the beauty of the Earth.
Mormon-y Spiritual Stuff: The gospel of Jesus Christ is about perfecting human beings. It’s only through the example of Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice that we can hope to become more than we are now. This is a gospel of hope. God loves everyone. It is because of that love that we are given his word, to know how to draw closer and return to him.
Ài, Wáng Zhǎnglǎo